A tragic event occurred. Like Godzilla’s attack on Tokyo, a monster came into my room, swinging her arms and bags knocking my bonsai off its mantle. Soil and gravel scattered across the ground as my bonsai lay there on an ugly carpet next to a worn sock. It seemed to happen in slow motion, playing back repeatedly in my head. Fortunately for my fast reflexes, I was able to gather up the fallen bonsai, get it back into its pot, and packed in the soil/gravel that was recoverable.
Lesson learned: You can have a bonsai and you can have a girlfriend, but you can’t have both because girlfriends are clumsy and don’t watch where they’re going and will kill your bonsai.
After not watering my bonsai for about a week, I went away on long weekend vacation, forgetting to water it before I left. Realizing the mistake I made, I went to facebook and asked my sister to water it for me (screw calling people on the phone).All was well im my mind, but when I came back, I saw the plant dying before my eyes. I screamed, “NOOO!!!!!!”. Actually, I just asked my sister what happened and she explained that my mom’s fear of over-watering my beloved tree prevented her from giving it the water that it needed.
I think I’m going to have to take another vacation to rehabilitate my bonsai and monitor it 24/7 with a series of webcams…or I’ll just water it more consistently.
Photo note: I tried doing that cool High Dynamic Range thing. Does it look like it worked?
According to the provided directions, my bonsai is in a “dormant state” for the winter season. During this period, it must kept it inside near a northern windowsill (for no stated reason), but should not receive any direct sunlight. In addition, watering schedule must be reduced from daily to weekly.
Basically I’ve been keeping my bonsai on my desk and watering it whenever I remember.
Despite the neglect it has been experiencing, my bonsai has miraculously managed new growth on the top, or should I say the side, sprouting some perky, bright green leaves. They feel soft like a baby seal’s nut sack, unlike the blood-shedding mature leaves that dominates the rest of the tree.
Not sure how this happened. With little to no natural sunlight getting into my room (seriously, I’m so pale), there is no explanation for this occurrence. Plus, the water in my house smells like there’s all sorts of cancer-causing chemicals in it. This is the most forgiving tree in existence. If only pets and babies were like this tree.
Regardless, I’d say this thing will be dead before summer.
The weatherman weatherperson kept saying it was going to snow. Later that night, before I got into bed, I peered out the window only to see the sky filled with nothing. That damn liar.
Fast forward to the morning…the snow has arrived! I rush outside in to begin a snow-themed photo session with my bonsai. After about a minute, my balls were completely receded into my body to protect themselves from the cold; I decided to get my ass inside…also, the mailman was coming, so I got scared. I gather my stuff and scurry back to go inside, but the front door was locked.
We got a lot of junk mail today.
The game of bonsai, is like a swordfight
You must think first, before you prune
Bon style is immensely strong, and immune to nearly any weapon
When it’s properly used, it’s almost invincible.
my bonsai can fly
no strings used for this photo
no photoshop too
This is my bonsai. There are many others like it, but this one is mine. My bonsai is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my bonsai is useless. Without my bonsai, I am useless. I must prune my bonsai true. I must trim straighter than my enemy, who is trying to out-bonsai me. I must trim him before he trims me. I will. Before God I swear this creed: my bonsai and myself are defenders of my country, we are the masters of our enemy, we are the saviors of my life. So be it, until there is no enemy, but peace. Amen.
